We fear to tread through pieces of our past memories because of the mistakes we did back then and our inability to forgive ourselves for it.There are people with who did meaner things than us but still live oblivious to it .But that reassurance brings only temporary warmth.We fear to forget them because of the valuable lessons maturity has brought with it.A good amount of bravura it takes to face someone and say “sorry” in front of an entire crowd.It is not only about people who we hurt ,but also about how much we have lost in the journey-regrets.One of the most difficult things to overcome is regret and guilt of our past negligence and ignorance.When we hear people appreciating the good qualities we have,our mind flashes back to the person once lived as and this leads to another pang of guilt-“Am I deceiving them by not revealing who I was?”
A great part of literature talks about forgiving oneself.
……..”If you do not forgive yourself of past sins, it is a form of pride. Whenever we enact a different set of rules, a higher set of standards for ourselves over others, that is pride. When we can find it within ourselves to forgive others, but not ourselves, we are saying that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are somehow more intuitive, wiser, more insightful, more careful than others, and therefore, we are without excuse and should not forgive ourselves. When we reject the forgiveness extended to us by God and others, when we refuse to forgive ourselves, what we are doing is setting ourselves above others and that is pride!” …..
The above quoted text reflects truth..But practising is harder than preaching.Confessions is one of the most sought after methods. You can call yourselves reformed and walk on earth as a new person…..Indecision leads to restlessness …So choosing what to do next is more important because drowning our present in the sea of past leads to further dissatisfaction with the self.After all we are bound to be real not perfect.